This past Sunday Melissa Harris-Perry had a very interesting segment on her new show with Selene Jones, president of Union Theological Seminary, on women as religious leaders and as images of the divine. This is not the type of discussion I have commonly seen outside of liberal religious circles. This is an important conversation and I hope it continues.
Since I don’t believe in a god, you might wonder why I care how we envision him/her/it/them. But I do care. Non-theists are a small minority in America, and we are affected by the policies enacted by and attitudes prevalent among the majority of Americans who are theists. So it is important to me that, culturally, we do not limit our vision of the divine to white maleness. Our perception of what is good and worthy should not automatically make half of the population “other”. When we picture the divine we shape what we think is of value, and we all need to be able to participate in being valuable and seeing others as so.
Even personally, I care about how we picture the divine. I have found a lot of value in some pagan practices. Sometimes I wonder if it is even fair to participate in rituals since my beliefs are out of line with most Pagans, but picturing divine females helps me to deal with aspects of myself. As a Christian, I never felt like I was related to God, but working with goddesses is connecting to parts of myself. They are not other; they are me. Even as I feel my connection to Paganism slipping, I remember learning that reverence for goddess could be a real and deeply experienced religion, and how both welcoming and shocking that was.
It only requires a quick look at recent headlines to see that allowing patriarchy to dominate all discussions of religious faith is a bad idea and does not serve any of us well. Being an atheist does not shield me from its effects. I hope that going forward we have more public discussions of a more rounded view of divinity and religion.
Showing posts with label women. Show all posts
Showing posts with label women. Show all posts
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Thursday, February 16, 2012
I Can't Take Any More Misogyny
I am trying to raise two girls here and it hasn’t been getting any easier lately. I am trying to raise young women who make their own choices and take responsibility for them, young women who can accomplish anything they set their minds to, happy, healthy, well-adjusted young women. So all of the ugly misogyny in the news lately is freaking me out.
While I am trying to tell my daughters that they can do anything they can dream, a presidential candidate is arguing publicly that they should not be allowed access to birth control. Birth control. We are not talking about late term abortion, or teenage sex, or anything that used to be controversial. They are being told that their future should be limited by their fertility and what kills me about this is that he just won primaries in three states. 20-ish years ago, when I was in high school, we never thought of contraception as anything that was in danger. It was just understood that a woman had the right to decide whether or not to conceive and that it was good for families not have more children than they could afford. These were evangelical Christians who understood that contraception was a net social benefit. I never imagined we would be having this argument.
On top of the normal fat-shaming and slut-shaming that happens every day in our society, what else has been going in misogyny lately? Well, I’ve read about people being unhappy that women breast feed in church, as if choosing to feed your child means you should be shut out of society. On the other hand, if women bottle feed, they are attacked from the other side for being selfish and not putting their baby’s health first.
A commentator on Fox News recently said that women should expect to be raped if they join the military. She criticized feminists who complain about “too much rape”. I would like to ask her what exactly would the right amount of rape be? Ladies, if you bravely decide to service your country and risk your life, expect that rape is just part of the package. What happened to support the troops?
We have all read about the Susan G. Komen foundation being pressured into dropping, and then restoring, funding to Planned Parenthood. I don’t need to cover it here. But Planned Parenthood continued to be a target because they make it possible for women to have sex, and that is bad.
Abortion rights are being systematically attacked all over the country. In these attacks women are continually portrayed as slutty, selfish, and stupid creatures who couldn’t possibly make a good decision without an authority figure helping her.
The Grammys decided that beating your girlfriend into the hospital doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be a featured performer. At my house, we turned off the volume while Chris Brown performed and discussed domestic violence. Yes, it was a teachable moment, but what we saw was that one person’s safety is less important than another person’s fame.
Today women were excluded from congressional testimony on the new federally-mandated contraception coverage. Apparently the subject at hand was religious rights, not reproductive ones.
I can’t take much more of this. My daughters’ bodies are not political footballs; they are their lives. I am more sick than I can express of the politicization of the health care of half of the population.
All of this, and more, is poison to the futures of young women. For every lesson their father and I teach them that they have as much value as any man, there are counter-lessons like these. They are being told that they need to be sexy, but not too sexy; independent, but not too independent; that they bring their problems on themselves; and that most of all, they are not to be trusted. These are not the family values I am trying to teach.
While I am trying to tell my daughters that they can do anything they can dream, a presidential candidate is arguing publicly that they should not be allowed access to birth control. Birth control. We are not talking about late term abortion, or teenage sex, or anything that used to be controversial. They are being told that their future should be limited by their fertility and what kills me about this is that he just won primaries in three states. 20-ish years ago, when I was in high school, we never thought of contraception as anything that was in danger. It was just understood that a woman had the right to decide whether or not to conceive and that it was good for families not have more children than they could afford. These were evangelical Christians who understood that contraception was a net social benefit. I never imagined we would be having this argument.
On top of the normal fat-shaming and slut-shaming that happens every day in our society, what else has been going in misogyny lately? Well, I’ve read about people being unhappy that women breast feed in church, as if choosing to feed your child means you should be shut out of society. On the other hand, if women bottle feed, they are attacked from the other side for being selfish and not putting their baby’s health first.
A commentator on Fox News recently said that women should expect to be raped if they join the military. She criticized feminists who complain about “too much rape”. I would like to ask her what exactly would the right amount of rape be? Ladies, if you bravely decide to service your country and risk your life, expect that rape is just part of the package. What happened to support the troops?
We have all read about the Susan G. Komen foundation being pressured into dropping, and then restoring, funding to Planned Parenthood. I don’t need to cover it here. But Planned Parenthood continued to be a target because they make it possible for women to have sex, and that is bad.
Abortion rights are being systematically attacked all over the country. In these attacks women are continually portrayed as slutty, selfish, and stupid creatures who couldn’t possibly make a good decision without an authority figure helping her.
The Grammys decided that beating your girlfriend into the hospital doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be a featured performer. At my house, we turned off the volume while Chris Brown performed and discussed domestic violence. Yes, it was a teachable moment, but what we saw was that one person’s safety is less important than another person’s fame.
Today women were excluded from congressional testimony on the new federally-mandated contraception coverage. Apparently the subject at hand was religious rights, not reproductive ones.
I can’t take much more of this. My daughters’ bodies are not political footballs; they are their lives. I am more sick than I can express of the politicization of the health care of half of the population.
All of this, and more, is poison to the futures of young women. For every lesson their father and I teach them that they have as much value as any man, there are counter-lessons like these. They are being told that they need to be sexy, but not too sexy; independent, but not too independent; that they bring their problems on themselves; and that most of all, they are not to be trusted. These are not the family values I am trying to teach.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Grateful for Older Women
UU Membership is "graying"; we all know. In my short time as a UU I have heard and read a lot about why this is a problem and how to fix it. Demographically, I understand why aging memberships are a concern, but I have found a benefit to this lop-sided nature of our congregation. It has given me an opportunity to get to know a whole group of people with whom I almost certainly would have never interacted.
Older women.
I love the older women in my church and I am so grateful I have gotten the change to get to know them. There is the cheerful & bubbly woman in her 70s who did more than anyone to convince me that AUUF was worth looking into. She loves and welcomes everyone and embodies loving-kindness. I recently heard one of our board members whisper that he wanted to be her when he grew up, and I don't think he is alone in that sentiment. She also introduced me to her women's group and the wonderful retired teacher who turned 71 on our shared birthday. That detail is just one of the many things this second woman and I have in common. She has shown me how to remain yourself while embracing change, and that gratitude and contentment lay on the other side of difficulty. Her spirit make me glad to be around her.
The simultaneously bold and relaxed 60 year old who hosts our small group is such a role model for me. Every time I talk to her she makes me feel valued and appreciated while continuing to push me to be the person I want to be. She pushes in the nicest way possible, but still... you know you were pushed. These wonderful women take everything in stride. When things go wrong they laugh, do what can be done, and move on with life. I love this about them.
These are just the three who stand out to me the most. There are others who I don't know as well, but I look forward to learning what they have to teach. I only hope that when it is my turn to be one of the elders I will have gained some of their love and wisdom, expressed with their humor and grace. I hope that I can be to a younger person what they have been to me.
Older women.
I love the older women in my church and I am so grateful I have gotten the change to get to know them. There is the cheerful & bubbly woman in her 70s who did more than anyone to convince me that AUUF was worth looking into. She loves and welcomes everyone and embodies loving-kindness. I recently heard one of our board members whisper that he wanted to be her when he grew up, and I don't think he is alone in that sentiment. She also introduced me to her women's group and the wonderful retired teacher who turned 71 on our shared birthday. That detail is just one of the many things this second woman and I have in common. She has shown me how to remain yourself while embracing change, and that gratitude and contentment lay on the other side of difficulty. Her spirit make me glad to be around her.
The simultaneously bold and relaxed 60 year old who hosts our small group is such a role model for me. Every time I talk to her she makes me feel valued and appreciated while continuing to push me to be the person I want to be. She pushes in the nicest way possible, but still... you know you were pushed. These wonderful women take everything in stride. When things go wrong they laugh, do what can be done, and move on with life. I love this about them.
These are just the three who stand out to me the most. There are others who I don't know as well, but I look forward to learning what they have to teach. I only hope that when it is my turn to be one of the elders I will have gained some of their love and wisdom, expressed with their humor and grace. I hope that I can be to a younger person what they have been to me.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
My First Labyrinth Walk
So I finally got to walk a labyrinth yesterday. I have been fascinated with them for years, but I didn’t know we had one in Anchorage that was open to the public until recently. I first became interested in labyrinths in my goddess studies, but I walked the local one with my Buddhist Small Group. That is one of the things I love about labyrinths – they are so ecumenical. Pagans, Christians, Buddhists, people of wildly diverse religious faiths all find usefulness and beauty in this walking meditative tool. What could be more UU than that?
This won’t be the last time I use the local labyrinth at St. Mary’s Episcopal Church, but on this first walk one metaphor stuck with me. As I walked, there was a moment when I had to step out, another moment when I had to balance precariously, and a final moment in which I stood firm in stability on both feet. I repeated that pattern, which we all do every day without thinking about it, over and over again. That pattern is like life and we repeat it metaphorically all our lives. There are times when we have to get inspired and venture out into something we have never done before, times when we don’t really know what we are doing and might fail, and times when we are stable and sure in what we are doing. To get anywhere though, we have to step out again. The thing that both surprised me and didn’t was how much I enjoy the unstable part of each step. That is something worth paying attention to.
Another group of women followed our group through the labyrinth and they were clearly much more organized than we were. Their beautiful chanting enhanced the whole experienced and changed it for me. The labyrinth walk became an evolution and I learned to step and sway in their rhythm. While I started the walk focusing on Buddhist-style mediation, I finished it like a pagan. I am pretty happy with that.
This won’t be the last time I use the local labyrinth at St. Mary’s Episcopal Church, but on this first walk one metaphor stuck with me. As I walked, there was a moment when I had to step out, another moment when I had to balance precariously, and a final moment in which I stood firm in stability on both feet. I repeated that pattern, which we all do every day without thinking about it, over and over again. That pattern is like life and we repeat it metaphorically all our lives. There are times when we have to get inspired and venture out into something we have never done before, times when we don’t really know what we are doing and might fail, and times when we are stable and sure in what we are doing. To get anywhere though, we have to step out again. The thing that both surprised me and didn’t was how much I enjoy the unstable part of each step. That is something worth paying attention to.
Another group of women followed our group through the labyrinth and they were clearly much more organized than we were. Their beautiful chanting enhanced the whole experienced and changed it for me. The labyrinth walk became an evolution and I learned to step and sway in their rhythm. While I started the walk focusing on Buddhist-style mediation, I finished it like a pagan. I am pretty happy with that.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Voting Against Women
I voted against several women today and I am rooting for more of them to lose. I feel a little disloyal.
I view voting as a personally sacred act. Whenever I vote, I think of women’s suffragists who worked so hard and sacrificed so much so that I could have my vote count. I wish Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Susan B. Anthony and others could see me and millions of other American women cast their votes. I feel like they are looking over my shoulder and it becomes a pleasure to wait in line for a ballot.
So it feels wrong to vote against so many women. Discounting judges, of the five races on my ballot I voted for exactly one woman and against three. I wish that wasn’t so, but as much as I want to see more women elected I am not willing to vote to support the lock that social conservatives have on the government of this state. I wish that progressive women got the attention that women of the Tea Party get.
Every time I discuss the news around my daughters and I criticize one high profile candidate or another, I hope they are not getting the message that women shouldn’t be leaders. I flinch when I hear myself criticize the sisterhood. So I am trying to see this as a positive development. Women are credibly running for office in large enough numbers that they are being judged by their capabilities and their character, rather than their gender. I don’t feel like I have to vote for every woman on the ballot just so that we have some gender parity in government. I still hope to vote for a woman and to see her win the presidency in my lifetime, but I want to vote for her because she is the best person for the job and not because of our shared gender. Oh, and she absolutely positively cannot be from Wasilla.
Still, it feels wrong.
I view voting as a personally sacred act. Whenever I vote, I think of women’s suffragists who worked so hard and sacrificed so much so that I could have my vote count. I wish Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Susan B. Anthony and others could see me and millions of other American women cast their votes. I feel like they are looking over my shoulder and it becomes a pleasure to wait in line for a ballot.
So it feels wrong to vote against so many women. Discounting judges, of the five races on my ballot I voted for exactly one woman and against three. I wish that wasn’t so, but as much as I want to see more women elected I am not willing to vote to support the lock that social conservatives have on the government of this state. I wish that progressive women got the attention that women of the Tea Party get.
Every time I discuss the news around my daughters and I criticize one high profile candidate or another, I hope they are not getting the message that women shouldn’t be leaders. I flinch when I hear myself criticize the sisterhood. So I am trying to see this as a positive development. Women are credibly running for office in large enough numbers that they are being judged by their capabilities and their character, rather than their gender. I don’t feel like I have to vote for every woman on the ballot just so that we have some gender parity in government. I still hope to vote for a woman and to see her win the presidency in my lifetime, but I want to vote for her because she is the best person for the job and not because of our shared gender. Oh, and she absolutely positively cannot be from Wasilla.
Still, it feels wrong.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Back To The Blogstone
Hello again. I've been missing for a while, but I'm back to the blog now.
I had a whole post planned out about kicking myself in the butt and getting my life back in gear. I was celebrating the unexpected magical confluence that created a whole evening with the house all to myself and enjoying the peace and quiet. But then I learned that an old friend just had a miscarriage in her second trimester and I am just too sad.
I made a promise to myself that I would write a post tonight so here it. I will endeavor to be more entertaining in the future, but not tonight.
I had a whole post planned out about kicking myself in the butt and getting my life back in gear. I was celebrating the unexpected magical confluence that created a whole evening with the house all to myself and enjoying the peace and quiet. But then I learned that an old friend just had a miscarriage in her second trimester and I am just too sad.
I made a promise to myself that I would write a post tonight so here it. I will endeavor to be more entertaining in the future, but not tonight.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
What Are We Hoping For in Iran?
May I be cynical for a moment?
My heart and hopes are with the protesters in Iran. I truly hope they will achieve a real change. Much thanks to Bill Baar for his coverage of the protests. I found myself getting caught up in the fervor of hope. We've all been hoping for years to see dramatic change in the politics and individual freedoms in Iran.
But what are we really hoping for here? Thousands of people are taking to the streets demanding change, but what will they really get? The leaders of the protest movement, Mousavi and Rafsanjani, were part of the Islamic revolution of 1979. These are not radicals or feminists in spite of Mousavi's impressive wife. Are these Iranians putting their lives on the line just so that they can wear colored veils instead of black? Will homosexuals still be executed? Will there be freedom of worship for religious minorities, or a free press?
I really want to get swept away in the beauty and passion of it all. The pictures of courageous young women shouting in the streets with their hair showing under their veils is inspiring and sobering all at the same time. It will just be too heart breaking for words if all of this courage and effort is just to bring about a slightly less repressive society for all of them.
Probably nobody know how all of this will end and I truly hope for the best. I want Iranian people to be able to live their lives in freedom and fulfillment. I want their government to stop threatening the U.S. and Israel. I just don't want all of the hopes of a whole generation of Iranians to be dashed if they wake up to find a their have marched and sacrificed for a marginally better leadership.
I make no claims to be an expert on Iran so feel free to straighten me out if I am way off target. It might even make me feel better.
My heart and hopes are with the protesters in Iran. I truly hope they will achieve a real change. Much thanks to Bill Baar for his coverage of the protests. I found myself getting caught up in the fervor of hope. We've all been hoping for years to see dramatic change in the politics and individual freedoms in Iran.
But what are we really hoping for here? Thousands of people are taking to the streets demanding change, but what will they really get? The leaders of the protest movement, Mousavi and Rafsanjani, were part of the Islamic revolution of 1979. These are not radicals or feminists in spite of Mousavi's impressive wife. Are these Iranians putting their lives on the line just so that they can wear colored veils instead of black? Will homosexuals still be executed? Will there be freedom of worship for religious minorities, or a free press?
I really want to get swept away in the beauty and passion of it all. The pictures of courageous young women shouting in the streets with their hair showing under their veils is inspiring and sobering all at the same time. It will just be too heart breaking for words if all of this courage and effort is just to bring about a slightly less repressive society for all of them.
Probably nobody know how all of this will end and I truly hope for the best. I want Iranian people to be able to live their lives in freedom and fulfillment. I want their government to stop threatening the U.S. and Israel. I just don't want all of the hopes of a whole generation of Iranians to be dashed if they wake up to find a their have marched and sacrificed for a marginally better leadership.
I make no claims to be an expert on Iran so feel free to straighten me out if I am way off target. It might even make me feel better.
Monday, June 8, 2009
First Female African-American Rabbi Ordained
This makes me really happy. Congratulations to Alysa Stanton, the first female african-american rabbi ordained in the United States. One of the few things I still appreciate about my mother's religious tradition is her intense interest in Judaism. For her, it was a way to get in touch with the roots of her Christian faith more deeply. For me, it is just such an amazing tradition and culture that there is really nothing quite analogous to the survival of the Jewish people.
Recently my mother found out that part of our mitochondrial DNA is most likely Ashkenazi. We have no idea how far back we would need to go to find our last practicing Jewish ancestress, but it still made me feel good. Like some of the other things I've talked about here, it felt right.
Around the world, each of the Abrahamic religions has its group of fundamentalists resisting any change and often subjugating women. It's refreshing to see some of them doing it differently. Best wishes to Rabbi Stanton and her congregation. Mazel tov.
Recently my mother found out that part of our mitochondrial DNA is most likely Ashkenazi. We have no idea how far back we would need to go to find our last practicing Jewish ancestress, but it still made me feel good. Like some of the other things I've talked about here, it felt right.
Around the world, each of the Abrahamic religions has its group of fundamentalists resisting any change and often subjugating women. It's refreshing to see some of them doing it differently. Best wishes to Rabbi Stanton and her congregation. Mazel tov.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Beltane Redux
I had my second, and much belated Beltane this weekend. This was my second ritual with a women's group affiliated with the local UU fellowship. I am just getting to know them, but I feel really at home with these women.
This sense of connection and community was something I had hoped I could find in the UU body here, and it feels wonderful to find it. I felt very welcomed, like my contributions were equal to anyone else. There was no hint of insider vs. outsider status.
I wanted to find a women's group for a long time. I just never expected to find it with a bunch of UU's. So far, it's been a great surprise.
This sense of connection and community was something I had hoped I could find in the UU body here, and it feels wonderful to find it. I felt very welcomed, like my contributions were equal to anyone else. There was no hint of insider vs. outsider status.
I wanted to find a women's group for a long time. I just never expected to find it with a bunch of UU's. So far, it's been a great surprise.
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