I have been thinking lately about how I make decisions. I am not widely known for my decisiveness so making a choice can be a lengthy process and it just gets worse in groups. When deciding where to eat for lunch, this is only a minor annoyance and, hopefully, something more along the lines of an endearing quirk (wishful thinking, I know).
While considering more important choices, this trait is more troublesome. I spend so much time anxiously going over all the drawbacks and benefits of each choice when I could spend that time productively doing something. Eventually I bounce my ideas off of someone, often my long suffering husband, to help clarify my ideas. This sometimes exhausts the patience of the idea-bouncing recipient. Contrary to his belief, I do not ask his opinion only to do the opposite.
Here is what I have noticed. Often, I know quite early on what I really want to do; I just need to time to come to peace with the decision or to give myself permission to do it. Other times I use that time “deciding” to come to terms and buck up to do something I don’t really want to do, but needs doing. I had my time to mentally whine about it, now I have to put on my big girl pants and do what is important. So if somewhere is my head, I know all along what I am going to choose, why do I prolong the process? Why can’t I accept my decision as the right one before I hash out every little detail?
Showing posts with label anxiety. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anxiety. Show all posts
Monday, September 13, 2010
Monday, May 18, 2009
New Car
We bought a new car this weekend. Our 15-year old station wagon breathed its last on the previous weekend while I was at the grocery store and it was time to bite the bullet and upgrade.
I am very happy with the vehicle we chose, but I have never had a car payment in my life. I'm still kind of reeling with that anxiety. In the last year, we have bought a house and two-year old vehicle. I don't usually fret amount money; either we have it or we don't. But we had a RIF a couple of months ago at work, and I have been worried about whether or not I will be able to continue to support my family at this new standard if I lose my job.
On the other hand, I have never had a nice car before either. This new Jeep is reliable and has a great warranty. I don't have to worry about whether the heater will work in the winter, or if it will make it on a long drive out of town. That security is very comforting. Also, it is very fun to drive. I had no plans to buy an SUV, but it is surprisingly fuel efficient and our commute is very short.
I feel strongly that we ought not to live beyond our means, but I also don't want my girls to feel like they are growing up deprived. I don't usually cook much in the summer, but I guess I'll be cooking more so we can afford the new chariot.
I am very happy with the vehicle we chose, but I have never had a car payment in my life. I'm still kind of reeling with that anxiety. In the last year, we have bought a house and two-year old vehicle. I don't usually fret amount money; either we have it or we don't. But we had a RIF a couple of months ago at work, and I have been worried about whether or not I will be able to continue to support my family at this new standard if I lose my job.
On the other hand, I have never had a nice car before either. This new Jeep is reliable and has a great warranty. I don't have to worry about whether the heater will work in the winter, or if it will make it on a long drive out of town. That security is very comforting. Also, it is very fun to drive. I had no plans to buy an SUV, but it is surprisingly fuel efficient and our commute is very short.
I feel strongly that we ought not to live beyond our means, but I also don't want my girls to feel like they are growing up deprived. I don't usually cook much in the summer, but I guess I'll be cooking more so we can afford the new chariot.
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