Showing posts with label anxiety. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anxiety. Show all posts

Monday, September 13, 2010

Making Decisions

I have been thinking lately about how I make decisions. I am not widely known for my decisiveness so making a choice can be a lengthy process and it just gets worse in groups. When deciding where to eat for lunch, this is only a minor annoyance and, hopefully, something more along the lines of an endearing quirk (wishful thinking, I know).

While considering more important choices, this trait is more troublesome. I spend so much time anxiously going over all the drawbacks and benefits of each choice when I could spend that time productively doing something. Eventually I bounce my ideas off of someone, often my long suffering husband, to help clarify my ideas. This sometimes exhausts the patience of the idea-bouncing recipient. Contrary to his belief, I do not ask his opinion only to do the opposite.

Here is what I have noticed. Often, I know quite early on what I really want to do; I just need to time to come to peace with the decision or to give myself permission to do it. Other times I use that time “deciding” to come to terms and buck up to do something I don’t really want to do, but needs doing. I had my time to mentally whine about it, now I have to put on my big girl pants and do what is important. So if somewhere is my head, I know all along what I am going to choose, why do I prolong the process? Why can’t I accept my decision as the right one before I hash out every little detail?

Monday, May 18, 2009

New Car

We bought a new car this weekend. Our 15-year old station wagon breathed its last on the previous weekend while I was at the grocery store and it was time to bite the bullet and upgrade.

I am very happy with the vehicle we chose, but I have never had a car payment in my life. I'm still kind of reeling with that anxiety. In the last year, we have bought a house and two-year old vehicle. I don't usually fret amount money; either we have it or we don't. But we had a RIF a couple of months ago at work, and I have been worried about whether or not I will be able to continue to support my family at this new standard if I lose my job.

On the other hand, I have never had a nice car before either. This new Jeep is reliable and has a great warranty. I don't have to worry about whether the heater will work in the winter, or if it will make it on a long drive out of town. That security is very comforting. Also, it is very fun to drive. I had no plans to buy an SUV, but it is surprisingly fuel efficient and our commute is very short.

I feel strongly that we ought not to live beyond our means, but I also don't want my girls to feel like they are growing up deprived. I don't usually cook much in the summer, but I guess I'll be cooking more so we can afford the new chariot.