Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The Goal is Even Keel

After yesterday I fully expect to have an emotionally draining week; this is unavoidable. The variable is my response so I have decided to take proactive steps towards mood enhancement to keep me level.

Step 1 today was to wear my pretty new green dress. It sounds shallow and trivial, I know, but why not start out the day feeling good about how I look? Especially when insomnia left me puffy-eyed.

Step 2 is music and I don't mean the blues. Hopefully upbeat music will drown out some negativity.

Step 3 is to MAKE myself make time to meditate. Moping is more tempting, but a few still minutes of breathing should help to keep an even keel.

Step 4 is community. I want to hide in a cave and feel sorry for myself, but I am going to make sure I continue to reach out. This blog is part of that and people I met on Twitter did more to lift my mood last night than anything else.

I think I will print out this list and keep it on my desk as a reminder. I am unusually goal oriented this week. The goal is even keel. Wish me luck.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Manhood For Amateurs

I have to return Manhood for Amateurs by Michael Chabon to the library tomorrow and I am reluctant to let it go. It is an interesting and very personal collection of essays on a variety of aspects of modern manhood, but it also explores the relationship between fans and authors. As a life-long fan of many geeky series & creations, I loved reading his point of view as both an author and a fanboy, and the relationship between those identities.

I have no non-weird way of writing this, but his essay "Woman of Honor" about Big Barda from DC Comics is one of the most romantic things I have read in a long time, at least if you are a geek girl. Read the whole essay because the romantic angle won't make sense when you are half-way through reading about the life of Jack Kirby, but the payoff is worth it.

I may have to actually buy a copy.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Forward Momentum

It feels like things are finally moving forward around here. Maybe it's just spring, but it feels good.

Health Care Reform, while far from perfect, has finally passed. The ugly limbo of the past nine months made me want to bury my head in the sand sometimes. Now that it is passed, we can work on other things. I can only hope the momentum of this victory propels us all to take on other problems. Big problems, let's think big.

On the personal side, I was handed a big setback at work two months ago, but then no actions or resolutions came about. This aimless treading water took a toll on my morale. Once I was no longer angry, but anxious to move forward and start contributing again, progress starting making those baby steps. Now it looks like those steps are finally speeding up. (I am loving the metaphors this evening apparently.) I am eager to get past this transition and just focus on the work again. It felt good to finally be able to let a few co-workers know this afternoon. Humiliating, but in a good way.

I've still got a lot to be grateful for:
~ Health Care Reform
~ I still have a job
~ I still have my salary so
~ I can still make my house payment and feed my kids
~ My family is healthy all at the same time for once
~ Graciousness & sensitivity of old and new bosses
~ Husband who is still proud of me even when I am not, and who is currently making me tea

It's time to kick myself in the butt and spring forward!

Monday, March 22, 2010

There's No Place Like Nome

My work took me to Nome, Alaska this weekend for the end of the 37th annual Iditarod Trail Sled Dog Race. Let's just say that, initially, I did not want to go. I've got a lot of my emotions tied up in the situation at work right now and I just did not feel up to small town glad handing in the cold. So I sat myself down for a good talking to. "People pay a lot of money to come up and experience this one time. This is your third trip and you are getting paid to do it. Suck it up and fake a good time until you have one." I said to myself.

I hate rediscovering cliches, but you really get out of things what you put into them. I ended up having a pretty good time. There were no epic adventures in getting home like last year. The housing situation was, ahem, colorful, but I had a warm place to spend the night. The sun was out a and the temperature was a balmy 12 - 20 degrees. It had been -30 the previous weekend so I was EXTREMELY grateful for that.

The whole weekend was pretty special. We had the second fasted winning time ever, the fasted last place time by about 10 hours, and the first year ever with no dog fatalities. This last fact was the highlight of the race. Lance Mackey's unprecedented 4-in-a-row victory went barely noticed compared to healthy dogs. I got to watch the last three mushers finish, which was fun. Each finisher is cheered, welcomed, and congratulated; it's special to watch.

We had a lot to organize and events just seemed to come together effortlessly this weekend. It made me think that these are types of occurrences that theists attribute to a deity looking out for them. I just went with the flow. This was probably my last Iditarod finish for a while so I am glad I got out of my own way and enjoyed it.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Back To The Blogstone

Hello again. I've been missing for a while, but I'm back to the blog now.

I had a whole post planned out about kicking myself in the butt and getting my life back in gear. I was celebrating the unexpected magical confluence that created a whole evening with the house all to myself and enjoying the peace and quiet. But then I learned that an old friend just had a miscarriage in her second trimester and I am just too sad.

I made a promise to myself that I would write a post tonight so here it. I will endeavor to be more entertaining in the future, but not tonight.