Forward Momentum

It feels like things are finally moving forward around here. Maybe it's just spring, but it feels good.

Health Care Reform, while far from perfect, has finally passed. The ugly limbo of the past nine months made me want to bury my head in the sand sometimes. Now that it is passed, we can work on other things. I can only hope the momentum of this victory propels us all to take on other problems. Big problems, let's think big.

On the personal side, I was handed a big setback at work two months ago, but then no actions or resolutions came about. This aimless treading water took a toll on my morale. Once I was no longer angry, but anxious to move forward and start contributing again, progress starting making those baby steps. Now it looks like those steps are finally speeding up. (I am loving the metaphors this evening apparently.) I am eager to get past this transition and just focus on the work again. It felt good to finally be able to let a few co-workers know this afternoon. Humiliating, but in a good way.

I've still got a lot to be grateful for:
~ Health Care Reform
~ I still have a job
~ I still have my salary so
~ I can still make my house payment and feed my kids
~ My family is healthy all at the same time for once
~ Graciousness & sensitivity of old and new bosses
~ Husband who is still proud of me even when I am not, and who is currently making me tea

It's time to kick myself in the butt and spring forward!

Sing, Sing a Song

I am not the world's greatest singer, but I have always liked to sing and been interested in singing as an approach to life. No matter how many times I had to watch Sesame Street, I always loved the song, "Sing, Sing a Song" no matter who sang it. It's simple, but it says a lot to me.

Lately, I've been coming across several references to singing and its link to happiness. Usually, when I start to notice the same topic occurring or catching my eye repeated, it's time to pay attention. One was Lizard Eater's post, which I've already mentioned, another was on Gretchen Rubin's Happiness Project. And there was a quote I wrote down the week before last at work.

After taking last week off from work, I sat down this morning, turned on my computer and started to read my e-mail with tea in hand when I looked down to see " 'I do not sing because I'm happy; I'm happy because I sing.' - William James" written on the top of my yellow legal notepad like it was the heading for my day. It helped re-frame my entire approach to the day and I actually was much happier to be at work.

At the risk of being a complete cornball maybe I'll make that quote into a sign for my desk so I can be reminded every morning. Sing and be happy; the worst that could happen is you'll look like a dork.

Professional Insincerity

In my newish position in work, I am learning to do a lot more networking. I'm a pretty social, chatty person so talking to people is no big deal. But I find that I feel really drained afterword and I wonder if that is due to the work of maintaining a facade.

I like to meet new people and get to know them, I do. Any readers who have been to professional cocktail parties know that you don't really get to know people at these events. You make small talk with people while you size them up to see if they have any possible use to you. You exchange business cards and you follow up with those that seem promising. It's the insincerity that bothers me. At least when I used to chat up customers we all knew why: yes, I want to hear about your child's sports team, but I also really want you to continue spending your money with us. I also saw the same people more often and had more of a relationship with them.

I would be happy to sit down over tea and pastry and talk to almost everyone I met tonight. I'd love to get to know them. Instead, I spun around in a mad rush of handshaking and name tag reading. (By the way, I hate wearing name tags.) Insincerity is a pretty big deal for me. I left the church because I was tired of being insincere. Any suggestions for how I can do my job and still not feel like a fake?

I don't mean to sound too much like a whiner; I like my job and feel really fortunate to have it. Also, I did run into an old friend tonight who I haven't seen in years. Knowing how I feel about some of the people I saw tonight, I can't help but wonder if she meant it when we agreed to get together.