Atheism and the Goddess

Yesterday our Fellowship held a service with the theme of the Divine Feminine and one of the readings was an excerpt from “Atheism and the Goddess” by Margaret Pearce. This, for me, was the highlight of the service and it felt tailor made for someone like me.

I do not believe in a divine being and have not for quite some time. When I was a believer, I never felt any such being. I am perfectly happy in this state of unbelief. The world and the universe are so awesome and fascinating on their own. But. I have always felt engaged and inspired by images and stories of goddesses. I enjoy so many pagan practices and ideas and I want to engage with them, but my more rational side argues with me. Is it really honest to participate in rituals, etc. when you don’t actually believe in these deities? Is it any better than when I used to pretend in the Christian church in which I was raised?

It sounds like Pearce struggled with these same issues and that, in itself, was validating. I don’t need to believe in a literal divine being to think about or meditate on a deity who looks like me. The values of goddess worship are ones I hold dear and these practices are a good way to integrate them into my life. I am not being any more honest to pretend these archetypes don’t have a pull on me.

This balance is why I enjoy the women’s group I have found so much. As women, we come together to celebrate and strengthen aspects our lives through focus on various goddesses and the cycle of the year. No one requires me to check my brains at the door, but the ritualistic elements help me to involve other sides of myself as well. I don’t know if I mentioned it here, but I have pretty much given up the local CUUPS group. I don’t think I am in sync with what they are trying to do, so it is best for me to step back and allow them to enjoy their rituals as they want. CUUPS helped to bring me to both UU’ism and my women’s group and I am very grateful for that. I wish them all the best, but I don’t plan on joining them anymore.

I don’t remember who it was, but someone in Margot Adler’s Drawing Down the Moon referred to his pagan practice as not irrational, but arational. This works for me and it provides an important balance so that I am not being so damn Apollonian all the time. A rational atheist and an arational pagan, that may just describe me.

Meatless Update at 1 Week

I am a week into my 40/40/40 meatless challenge and it is so far, so good. I’ve only had one meat craving for fried chicken all week. Much like when I gave up soda (how I miss you Dr. Pepper) I really only crave it when I see someone else having it. There is just nothing like the smell of meat.

I’m trying to remember to replace the meat in my diet with vegetables and alternative proteins instead of just starch. I could easily live on bread and cheese, but that doesn’t seem like a good idea. I found out last night that my rice cooker makes perfect quinoa so that will be lunch for the next couple of days.

Aside from the environmental benefit, the goal of the exercise was to make me much more mindful about what I am eating. Every time I eat I have to think about it. I can’t just have the hot dog at Costco because it is really easy and I’m hungry; I have to plan and shop differently. No rushing to work and picking up lunch at the greasy spoon allowed and I’m pretty happy with that so far.

8 days down, 32 to go.

Meatless For 40 Days

Yesterday I signed up with our Fellowship's 40/40/40 challenge. We are taking 40 days around Earth Day to make a small change in our lives that benefits the planet and I chose to forgo meat for that time.

I hope that this challenge will encourage me to eat more mindfully. At every meal I have to make the decision to eat foods other than meat. I will have to really think about what I am eating, what it really is, and where it comes from. I have tried to do this before, but I hope that signing up and being accountable with encourage me to stick with it. I have restricted, but not eliminated, meat in my diet in the past, but difficulties in feeling a family and the lure of bacon always had me backsliding. I will still eat dairy and eggs and some wild-caught fish; a vegan diet just seems to great a switch to make all at once.

The children are not at all excited about this. Their diet is not restricted, except that I'm sure I'll be cooking a lot less meat, but they can have it at school or when I am not home. Still, not fans.

I also like the idea of pursuing a Lenten-type path for 40 days to see what benefits might be there. Evangelicals don't practice Lent so it was never part of my childhood. I was intrigued this year by the growth people found in a Lenten fast, but I didn't want to add another Christian-based observance to my calendar. I'll keep you all posted as to how that goes.

Suggestions from meat-free folks out there are more than welcome. One note though, I want to avoid fake food. I would much rather eat beans than tofu hot dogs or the like. Tofu is fine as tofu. I only have a handful of vegetarian dishes that I make so I would love to learn some others so that this 40 days doesn't end up feeling like 4 months.

Learning to Listen To My Body

One of these days I am going to learn to listen to my body. I tend to be in my head a lot and sometimes (frequently) do not listen to subtle physical cues my body sends me. "I can push past this fatigue, pain, stress, etc. and be just fine. I will rest later" I tell myself. The mythical later when I won't have a million things I want/need to do. In the whole mind-body-spirit connection, I tend to forget about the body part.

So occasionally my body has to shout at me to get my attention. Today it knocked me right on my butt. So I took a long nap, I have a bath planned, and just about all the chores got put off. (Please do not look at my bathroom.)

So it's tea, and a bath, and early to bed to me. Early to bed feels like a waste of time, when I could be reading or talking or something else interesting, but my pragmatic husband tries to convince me otherwise, usually in vain. Yes, I'm talking about sleep, here. Nope, I'm not talking myself out of it: early to bed. Listening to my body.

Anticipating the Buddha

I'm really looking forward to watching PBS's documentary on the Buddha that aired last night. It's a busy week this week so it might be Sunday before I get to settle down for long enough to watch it. Did anyone else see it yet? What did you think?

Belated Easter Thoughts of a Non-theist

What is a non-theist to do with Easter?

I thought about this a lot last weekend. I love to celebrate Christmas, but it is different. While undeniably a religious holiday, Christmas has also become a secular one. The closeness to the Winter Solstice makes the festivities go down even easier, but Easter is another matter.

Easter is not secularized or separate from the sacred enough for me to kid myself into thinking I am doing anything other than celebrating the resurrection of Christ. I would be quite happy to let the day go completely un-differentiated, but canceling the Easter egg hunt and Easter dinner with my family would not make me highly regarded in their eyes. It might be fair to say it would make me a jerk.

Easter is not close enough to a sabbat for me to get my pagan on about it. There is almost always still snow on the ground this far north, so celebrating the coming of spring is more ceremonial than anything else. So how'bout it? What do the rest of you do. Any of you non-Christian or post-Christian UU's have any suggestions? How do you frame Easter? To observe or not to observe, what do you do?