Tuesday, July 5, 2011

On Friendship - Connection & Reconnection

This was a great weekend for connecting with friends. Friday night was spent at a party with new friends, and Sunday and Monday were spent at parties reconnecting with an old friend, the Math Teacher and her family. One was a girls' night, and one was a 4th of July barbeque. Our friendship has a strange arc; we were friends as children, and again as young adults*, and we are re-connecting now as we each approach middle age. Who knows, maybe we will lose touch again and bump into each other in an old folks home.

Sunday night I hung out with the Math Teacher and her friend Goldilocks. We had a great time, but the conversations were a little surreal. On the one hand, we know each other so well and have so much history, but I have seen the two of them only sporadically over the last 15 years. We each know parts of the other’s lives intimately, but we are each totally ignorant about whole other swaths of our own personal history. Each conversation feels like the past is sitting there with us. We have tried to reconnect before, but we always let busy lives get in the way. I have to thank Facebook for helping us to start our friendship back up for a third time.

One of the best parts of hanging out with her is seeing what an awesome person she has become. She is still her, but it is like she has become her best self. Life has taught her how to be a strong and centered person that I really admire instead of the person who doubted everything about herself. I really wish I could take her back in a time machine and introduce her to her 20-year old self. I want to tell her younger version that this is who she will become.

I read somewhere once that as we get older those who knew us when we were young become more and more important. I have loved meeting all the new friends I have made over the last two years and I am grateful for them, but having people who knew you as you were and see you as you are is really grounding.

*The Math Teacher’s father was the first UU I ever met. I thought he was crazy when he tried to describe his church to me – the church I now attend.

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